Journal 1/25

My parents.

The other day my Mom came home and told that she was bragging about how self aware I am to someone. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was. The way it is in my house is that my parents see me and my actions as "The Norm" for teenagers, but as I know from being surrounding by teenagers all day, that is not the case. My parents expect me to excel and be a good kid because that's the way it's always been. There is no special accolade or prize for good grades and behavior, just a "Hey, I knew you could do it."  With this in mind, I thought it was really nice for my mom to mention the fact she is proud of me even when I wasn't there. It's just nice to know that my parents are, in fact, very pleased with me and my behavior and realize it gets really hard sometimes.

Journal 1/14

Tragedy 

What's tragic to me is the genocide in Sudan, the burning of women in the Middle East, the starvation rate of kids around the world, the fact that everyday people die in sweatshops. These events are sad, yes, but they go beyond the realm of sadness for me because of the lack of recognition on the U.S's part. Plenty of sad, horrible events happen each day in the U.S i.e mass murder, deaths, natural disasters, but those are mentioned and talked about and mourned for. The tragic part that sets these global disasters apart for me is that in the U.S they don't recognize these massacres on the same level that they do of a "Home soil" one. News station are fairly local and brief when presenting the news, there is hardly ever anything about things that have happened outside of even the current state. World news stations do their best to cover the most that they can but they simply can't cover everything. The true tragedy in all of this I suppose, is how easily people forget. Many Americans are used to the news simply repeating facts over and over again and so instead of these facts sinking in, which causes us to remember them like a textbook and watch them play out like a movie. "Yep. Apple Factories in China have suicide nets on the outside." What!? That's a big deal and it's rarely discussed on a daily basis. My theory is that this is because people don't want to think about the fact that these horrible things are happening around them, it's uncomfortable and calls for fixing which requires sacrifice.

The Gap

                                    The Gap

I've learned that I have the potential for a well written, well informed analysis but I also have the potential for a lazy, basic analysis as well. I didn't reach as far as I should have at some points in my writing. Especially with  I also noticed that I am really reevaluating my life and the meaning of it all. I wrote several entries questioning life and more importantly, the gap between the Eastern and Western world. I have noticed that I am troubled by this gap and at the same time, I am grateful for the position I am in. I said, "It's weird to me that as I sit here writing this in a warm, free classroom as a woman, girls around the world will be shot and raped today." That's so stunning to me and I write about it a lot because I think I could think about the answer to why things are the way they are all day. I am trying to figure this question out and that's the main topic on my mind currently and so it is the main topic of my writing as well. Even so, I definitely have room for improvement.

I find that the times which my writing is lack luster, are times in which I don't understand the assignment or citation. In a lot of my journal entries about Lord of The Flies I struggled with being deep enough. The first part of that book just really confused me so my writing is poor. To improve, I can do my best to get a full and deep understanding of the text by asking the teacher and my peers questions. I can also think about the text more and really try to gain a deeper understanding for myself just by thinking about it. I also think that at times I struggle with just being lazy and not getting into the assignment. I can improve on this by seeing the beneficial things about the assignment and trust that I am writing for a good reason even if I don't see it. All the entries that I have written have given me a fuller understanding of my writing style as well as the texts that I was writing about. The entries have helped me because i can look back and see what my thoughts were on certain things, I can realize this fact and that will help me be more interested. Part of the reason I feel like my writing lacks at times is because I'm not writing about things that I enjoy.

When I read a good quote, hear a good speech or read a good book, I am often inspired to write about it. I like to write about Thich Naht Hanh and Stephen Bachelor because Thich Naht Hanh is my teacher and I read a lot of Bachelor's books. His wise words and over arching statements about the human condition and society make me want to elaborate and analyze everything as well. When I write, I like to  be in a setting with people around, but on my own. My house is too familiar and small so I usually go to a coffee shop so that I can be around society and unfamiliar location. I don't like to listen to music or drink anything because I am distracted to easily and am unable to focus. Inspired writing inspires me. Even if the topic that the author is writing about is fairly boring to me, I love when I feel like the author is passionate.